mY lOndon, mY wOrld tHe dIgital rEview

SupperClub, London

2010-05-24T07:59:00.000-07:00

It has been a request of one of my friends, WW, to organise a SupperClub night for almost a year and finally another friend, P, took it up as part of our “No More Secrets-London” group. Not realising it until a week prior to hitting the Portobello club, I have actually been to both the Bangkok and the Istanbul flavours of this clubbing sensation and seriously enjoyed both… SupperClub is basically an experience rather than just a club….

Rocking up at 7PM you are invited in to an average looking bar where you liquefy yourself with overpriced but well made cocktails. At 8:30 the huge double dours swing open to reveal a large white room, surrounded by Huge white beds with little glass tables supporting a selection of crystal!.... As the night goes on your 5 course meal is served and the entertainment is put on, this ranged from cross dressing overweight opera singers to cross dressing fire breathers.. pretty immense…

High lights of the night would be rugby tackling each other across the beds and the masseuses doing their thing!

I would definitely recommend this place, putting it above Istanbul and Bankok simply due to the club layout, but make sure you go for the whole package rather than just the clubbing, as the groups that arrived later 11PM and on, didn’t really get much more of an experience than you would heading to any other standard club…

Song:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R2vLiQwyGmY&playnext_from=TL&videos=n8hR2wDD1Eg

Drink: Grey Goose Magnum

Type: Bed Club

££$$: ££££/£££££

Best memory: falling asleep to a masseuse while watching a cross dressing opera singer and being fed duck

Worst memory: Jack Cam biting everyone

lIfe iS tEtris

2010-03-22T13:58:00.000-07:00

in addition to yapping on about all my little adventrures I have even more to say....

Basically a running commentary of my thoughts....

Check it out...

Life is Tetris

The Lost Angel, Battersea, London

2010-03-22T10:26:00.000-07:00

This place was a huge surprise, being a regular to lost society near Clapham we had never heard of this little place, which turned out to be immense and not so little. Unlike lost society and artesian well, £5 taxi away there is no queue at a pumping electronic location, more a heaving bar than a club, but still an impressive night… The place closes early so heading on somewhere like MOS may be an idea if your still looking to party. This will most definitely be added to the repertoire of random London fun!!

Ministry of Sound, London

2010-03-22T10:22:00.001-07:00

I have only ever been here once before, and all I had in remembrance of the night was a photo I took on my phone. This time however I got to experience what I would call a less hidden slightly more commercial “EGG”. We arrived at 3am to find out the Pete Tong was playing a set at the time…and wow! He did an absolutely mind blowing job… The place is as you expect, very large, full with a huge mix of people from slightly rah to ghetto, the music is immense, considering they put on a 24hr radio station from the building this would be standard and of course it’s very very loud….There is an amazing hot dog stand and huge smoking areas… If you are looking for a safe grimy night which is walking distance from waterloo get involved…

ROUNDHOUSE, Camden and O2 Academy, Brixton - London

2010-03-07T09:33:00.000-08:00

Two for one .... Recently I have been trying to mix up our party experiences and have found that live music is not only amazing, but a total different experience with every different act... Two experiences I have recently had and definately recommend are the round house in Camden and o2 academy in Brixton.

I went and watched Calvin Harris, yes I know it's very 16yr old girl, at the round house and it was very impressive... The clasic center stage with a standing area and a second floor circle for the sitters.... Nice and small, so you really get to have the full blast of the music.....Calvin Harris was actually brilliant and really knows how to get a crowd going slash laughing....

Second show was hot chip and casio kids in Brixton. This place is much cooler than the roundhouse however it is quite a bit bigger and hence you have to push through a huge number of people to get anywhere near the stage. The entire theatre is slanted, giving a good view to everyone standing and almost a colloseum feel...hot chip were immense, much louder and fun than the standard recorded music... Casio kids, the supporting act, were awesome!!!

Hitting Chemical brothers in May at the Roundhouse - should be immense!!

Get involved!!

Cape Town, South Africa

2010-02-25T15:06:00.000-08:00

Following on from my review of my home town, Johannesburg, I feel that
I should let whoever reads this know what I think of the more
entertaining side of south Africa. Cape town is a world renowned
destination at the moment, known for it's St tropez style parties and
it's immense beaches. It is much more designed for the heavy pocketed
individual looking to strut their stuff on the many beach front
bars...

I got to sample la med, a younger cheaper fun side to CT as

well as caprice, which is notorious for silly celebs, but both are

absolute awesome fun, especially in the sun.... What I have been

talking about is Camps Bay, and I would recommend this area to anyone

who enjoys the upper class side of the world...

In comparison, Long Street is very different and yet equally as

awesome. This place is close to q hippy heaven, huge numbers of

chilled out bars and late night cheap restaurants, that all seem to

never shut... The beer is cheap the atmosphere is chilled, basically

what Captonians are known for......

Cape town is of course known for it's wines across the planet... The
garden route has many many wine farms, yes in Sa they are wine farms
and not vineyards. There are multiple ways of experiencing this, the
two I have had the chance to sample and recommend are taking a cheap
£50 group tour, in which I promise you will not remember the end :-)
or organising a true wine trip, in which you stay in b&b's along the
way...

Basically the combination of the above and the recommended climb up
and down table mountain make for an awesome holiday, and this is one
of the places in the world I would recommend to almost everyone ....

Johannesburg, South Africa

2010-01-27T13:48:00.000-08:00

This little bit of information is something I really felt I should attempt to share, the reasoning behind this is I am originally South African and from Johannesburg, with 26 years of experience of the city I reckon I should have a good understanding of the place, especially as a tourist due to the last 10 years of my life visiting Joburg as exactly that....

Johannesburg has always got one of two very wrong perceptions from everyone I meet that has either not been there or has not got their international head screwed on. These are either an African Village with people using lions as pets and riding elephants to work OR the scariest place on earth... Both of these are very wrong!!!

Joburg is essentially very similar to any other very large 'capital' city, it has its built up areas, down town, expensive locations, scary places, cultural landmarks and will soon have the reputation of holding a world cup and the landmarks that brings with it... Of course apartheid has given it a bad name to many, this having ended in '94 and the place turning into a rainbow nation has very almost abolished heavy racism, but there are of course some who hold grudges, but you do not get to see this unless you know people on a one to one basis, in their own homes... The violence is rife in areas, a number of my friends have been hijacked, but this is mostly in dodgy areas in which you shouldn't be travelling and any local tourist adviser will openly tell you this... I have personally experienced much scarier things on the night beaches of Thailand or running through the Favelas in Rio....

However I must say Joburg is not the place in South Africa I would suggest to my friends to go visit if they wanted to party and live the sunshine life, that would most definately be Cape Town or Plettenburg bay... Joburg is where you go to see some culture, learn about apartheid, see the monuments, visit Soweto (the largest shanty town), get to know the real South African people and now of course visit Soccer Stadium.....

I have had the luck of living in this awesome city for a long time, and now visiting it yearly. With a good group of friends in the area I have the local knowledge on tap and when it comes to going out there really are some sexy joints... A nice chilled night may start in the very nice Grill House in rosebank, for a steak and a couple of South Africa's best reds, followed on by a short drive to Attic in ParkHurst for a couple of beers and then an ending to the night in Tokyo Star just up the road... It is simple, take radio taxis everywhere and stick where you feel safe and you will have an off the hook night, the trouble comes exactly as it does anywhere else in the world, when you get to drunk and start wondering the streets alone, stumbling and basically attracting attention... Silly Silly, and I am the worst at it, but have had a few hundred nights out in this place and never had a "bad experience" worse than getting pushed in a club for drunkenly stumbling....

There are a number of smarter clubs which I would easily compare to Mayfair style London clubs, such as Manhattans.

If you want the "African" experience make sure you visit Moyo, the food here is immense and there is definitely a push for that African feel.

If you want to get a feel of an old school, South African pub, make sure you visit the Radium Beer Hall, there is nothing that special about the place, except good cheap food like Lorenzo Marks prawns straight from Mozambique, good live music, Castle draft and a local feel... in fact it's perfect... and the pizzas are pretty immense to...

My overall view is that I love Johannesburg, and feel everyone should visit it once in their lifetimes, for all my UK friends what I would suggest is to make it a 4 day add on to your wine tasting. sun soaking trips to cape town, Durban and the game farms....

X

Borough Market, Southwark, london

2010-01-27T12:58:00.000-08:00

Sometimes I like doing things that do not involve loud music, alcohol and memory loss... Borough Market meets most of those pre-reqs... Jump off the tube at London Bridge and take your taste buds on a cultural journey on the streets of London... This is basically a food market, where locals come to display there goods, from warm cider to raclette this place really does have everything for your culinary delight... I have been here a few times now and always land up eating somewhere random and drinking something odd, my favourite food has to be the boring turkey baguettes underneath the railway bridge and I must admit warm cider on a hangover in the cold is perfect to start the day off... Take some cash as there are the random good bottle of wine, red meats and of course cheese, that should all be tried and enjoyed... Plan to walk around for a while, my view is to turn up an hour before lunch and leave maybe 2 after... There is an impressive restaurant above the market called "Roast" which I think you can guess what they serve... go enjoy

Guanabara, Holborn, London

2010-01-27T12:51:00.000-08:00

This is a really good late night Brazilian venue... There is a serious amount of impressive live music played on the front stage in which everyone dances around, drinking Quilmes (argentinian beer), Brama (Brazilian beer) and of course there are ready to rock caprianas lined up behind the bar... The crowd are mostly foreign, Latin American, which means it is hard to strike conversation but they are all friendly and all there to party... It's a short walk from Covent garden and only costs a tenner to get in, Guanabara I recommend to all who are looking for a "cheapish" dance and some good live music!!! Get Involved!!!

Song: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bXnDz2NfbEs

Drink: Quilmes and Caprianas

Type: Brazilian live venue

££$$: £££/£££££

Best memory: dancing to the lambada, a live band and some "brazilian" (russian) belly dancers

Worst memory: I can't think of any, a nice little place with a good vibe!

Infernos, Clapham, London

2010-01-17T08:04:00.000-08:00

So after the fourth visit, I feel i can finally write a personal review on Claphams infamous high street night club. Infernos is hugely popular with all recently graduated Londoners looking for a very MESSY night out, and of course the good chance of picking up some form of male/female lying on the dance floor with beer goggles, helmet, sunglasses and visor on! The place is huge, it has multiple dance floors, an uncountable number of rooms and bars and is actually quite pleasant in the way of friendly staff and low entry price and drinks.

I would recommend this to all who really want a mad night or are new to London, its a good place to meet new people, get drunk and dance the night away, it is not good if your looking for a smart elegant night....

After all my complaints and unjustified moans about Infernos, it really does have its purpose and I can see why it is so hugely visited by the fun young crowds.

Song: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mL2X44F40TI

Drink: cheap double vodka

Type: fun young cheap dance club

££$$: ££/£££££

Best memory: dancing away surrounded by large numbers of friendly females

Worst memory: closing time is 3..lights come on, beer goggles come off

arch one, Waterloo, London

2010-01-10T12:31:00.000-08:00

perfect place for a follow on of anything in and around the Waterloo area. Arch One is an average 2 floor bar/club, serving reasonably priced drinks (do not attempt cocktails, lemon caiprohina) with a late licence and a good party vibe... So if your in the area, say Las iguanas (Southbank) or even the Oxo tower, and you want that few extra hours of bad behaviour, this place offers a safe bet... of course buddah bar is just around the corner if you don't agree...
Song: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V775PPuBc7Y

Drink: lemon caprihina

Type: generic new age electronic club

££$$: £££/£££££

Best memory: bartenderesses :P

Worst memory: lemon caprihina! just wrong!

Barcadia, Kingston, London

2010-01-10T12:25:00.000-08:00

Absolute blast from the past.... Kingston in general seems to me to be a great place for only two situations on a "drinking" night, either to get into a large London style club, Oceana, when underage or to experience what I call the Magaluf effect!! Very easy women, and enough fights to make UFC look tame....
On this occasion however Barcadia was a treat, due to VIP and a connection with the owner, though the way I see it, simply do not venture to this area, let alone the chest barging, uneducated crowd of Barcadia... Unless, like us at one stage, your underage and looking for a scary big night out!!

Zebrano, Greek Street, Soho, London

2009-12-03T08:51:00.000-08:00

I can't even count how many times I have been to this joint, it seems to appear from the depths at totally random times... Greek Street seems to be positioned well enough to engulf the few, looking for late night madness, people leaving Covent Garden, Piccadilly and Leicester square... The place is pretty datty and at the same time has a nice warm feeling as it seems to be an old terraced house that has been modded into a double floor bar come club, closing late on most days and usually providing some pretty hectic music :0..... just staring down at my slips from a previous night, and think I may be the benefactor of the place... shots are not cheap...

CHANGE

So... I have decided to attempt to slow down, this means swapping triple nighters with no sleep for the occasional big one accompanied by a couple of more sophisticated drinks sessions... This is in aid of improving my verbal conduct, where this blog began... over partying has lead to my brain functioning at what I can only call a small percentage of what it should be.... So in order to keep this blog going, I think I will divulge more on what I think of the countries I visit... the people I meet... the cultures they express... and of course the occasional event/club/bar/festival I visit.... change can only be a good thing :)

Crazy Bear Members Club, Covent Garden, London

2009-11-10T06:54:00.000-08:00

Delicious, absolutely delicious... this Place is pretty Impresive, its basically a private members club, meaning you need to be invited or have a £900 yearly fee paid up... the place is decorated very interestingly, with different themes on almost every table, especially in the downstairs drinking area... The cocktails are superb and the Asian food is at a very high standard... If you want to impress get involved....

24, Kingly Street, London

2009-11-10T04:03:00.000-08:00

Quite a nice alternative to Mayfair, if you are location dependant, offering a very similar experience to Vendome or Whisky Mist. A feature we spent some time on, as we turned up early, was the digital air hockey table just off the dance floor! So we got a few funny looks, as we got quite competitive, but all was good as the average age on the Friday night seemed to be 19 and therefore to save ourselves from awkward Saturday mornings we decided pushing the geekness was imperative. The drinks list is quite impressive, front lined with shot shakers and cocktail glass jugs, average electronic music and shared table areas give the club a simple feel, making it a safe bet for new arrivals to London however I would not take anyone here in order to impress. -mY lOndon-

REVISIT 13/11/09

Back again, with a larger group and no VIP, again the waiters were fun, and the people a little older made for some interesting conversations.. a big improvement on the last visit.

Song: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AYEy6NA9PsI

Drink: Oversized cocktails

Type: generic rah rah

££$$: ££££/£££££

Best memory: playing digital table hockey

Worst memory: 18 year olds trying to use themselves for drinks

B@1 Bar and Wahaca combo, Covent Garden, London

2009-11-10T03:55:00.000-08:00

This is a little combo I just thought I would recommend, after 2 successful visits it seems to deliver a safe chilled evening. Wahaca, having been voted London’s best Mexican 2009, is hugely popular and on most nights requires a wait of up to two hours due to their “no booking” policy. So in order to avoid the wait, you can either get a drink in their bar, however it is again hugely busy, or go to B@1, which is a small cocktail bar near by. The eye catcher is the 191 cocktail list which each barman knows off by heart, this combined with a lively atmosphere makes for an interesting pre-drink (you will only get a table if you turn up pre 6pm or book). Following this Wahaca has a very random menu in which it serves classic Mexican dishes, such as Enchiladas and Burritos in Tapas form, so you can have a huge mix of the different food types , or the large dish form if your feeling boring. I would suggest this for a group of friends, not looking to spend to much but attempting to get away from the crowds of tourists you find in this area, it is definitely not for impressing potentials. You are guaranteed a triple whack of your daily calories from these two….-mY lOndon-

Bavarian Beerhouse, Old Street and Katzenjammers, Southwark - London

2009-11-05T08:17:00.000-08:00

If your feeling a little German and want to get drunk and enjoy good food, these are definately a must. They both follow the same feel of a classic German Bierkeller, a pub decorated in classic german style selling German beer, both selling a good selection of beer in Litre Stein glasses. Located underground with low ceilings and long wooden pub benches, these places are designed to get people drunk. The night should also include food sampling with large varieties of sausage and Sauerkraut and freshly baked pretzels... Calorie OVERKILL... London Bridge is much newer that the Old street beerhouse, and you can tell by the level of authenticity shown in old street, however the Beer is amazing at both locations...

333Mother, Old Street, London

2009-10-29T11:34:00.000-07:00

If any of you have been stuck on a Tuesday night in London with nothing to do but a buzz to go and party, you most likely have landed up here! The place is basically a well known understated dance club that seems to be open when nothing else in our big town is!! Simple make up of a large dance floor with a live DJ looking over your every move and a chill room filled with a lot of random folk who are most definitely not 100% legit! I would say this is one of those places to keep in your back pocket for random occasions with strangely friendly bouncers and speedy bar staff. When the doors shut you can always walk around the corner to the Russian Bar, even though it does sound seriously dodge and there are a multitude of Russian flags covering the walls and possible some nukes in the basement, it is quite a nice little end the night joint to bust a groove and meet some...Russians!

Song: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xcKMZO9cbvc&feature=fvw

Drink: vodka / whisky and coke

Type: chilled out dance club

££$$: ££/£££££

Best memory: finding somewhere to go, when everywhere else closes there doors on you at 11

Worst memory: Knowing that it's a working day and that tomorrow is one to!!

The Vodka Train, Russia, Mongolia and China

2009-10-28T14:25:00.000-07:00

It's not that I am simply bored at work that I am writing this, but because this was one of the most amazing trips I have ever been lucky enough to venture forth on. The Vodka Train, the company we used and the experience we had, is basically either a Trans-Mongolian or a Trans-Siberian railway trip, crossing Russia, Mongolia and china or Russia and China respectively, both passing through Siberia.

The route we chose was a 3 week tour starting in St.Petesburg passing through Moscow, through Siberia, through Mongolia and finally ending in Beijing. Three weeks seems a very short time to cross part of Europe and then the worlds Largest continent, Asia... and it was pretty rushed but the Vodka Train had planned it so that in every location there is a local student, who shows you the sites and hidden vodka gems and in return the student gets a little bit of dollar and the chance to practice English.

This is obviously not a 5* trip and accommodation off the train is in the form of hostels ranging from 8 bedders with bed bugs in Moscow to plush wooden cabins in the mountains of Siberia... You are offered to upgrade at every location, making it a little more comforting for some... The interesting part however, would have to be the train itself, which at some stages you spend up to four nights on. Each room has 4 bunk beds about 6"2 long and a tiny table in the center, which is most commonly used for eating, or in our case vodka bottles and poker sets...food is pretty dire for the first part, being 2 minute noodles on the train and Russian attempts at western dishes.. On arrival in Mongolia this elevates to some more interesting dishes involving a lot of sheep and a bit of horse. China of course has food to KILL for at prices that are jokes!

I suppose a trip like this should focus on the history and culture, but I suppose the social side of a country is a huge part of the culture... The train is made up of a mix of locals travelling in cattle class, travellers, such as ourselves, travelling in the tight 4 bedder rooms and then the more sophisticated travellers in red satin twins. The journey is basically a drunken one, in which you bring your own beer and vodka and a little bit of food. It is easily possible to fit 10 people in one room and have a loud party, in which if you are lucky the cleaner ladies will get involved lol. I suppose the more cultural thing, which I would hugely recommend is getting the locals involved.. they love the fact you have "expensive" vodka and will gladly share their home-grown chickens and tomatoes... Vodka shots with random foods seem to be the thing to do on an elderlies night out! like it!!
Traipsing through Russia with a student is really good fun, as Russians love their vodka and live rock and electronic music. In Moscow as you would expect there are a lot of clubs, we however visited a large d&b club called “JumanjI” which looked like a group of teenagers had set up with their own speakers and table cloth bars... we took this as the aftershock from communism.. However outside in the local park there was a "corner shop" with thousands of brands of vodka with the most expensive being around £4 which the local beings had massed and started their own party.
Mongolia was a little more tame, with some good out-door bars and a lot of drinking in the Gur's, however there was more focus on the activities such as horse riding and mountain climbing. Where as China, just like any massive city, had some seriously dirty side streets and some seriously swanky clubs...

There are nights out every second day and there are also outings organised almost everyday from Moscow circus to Swan Lake there is always something on offer.

After typing a mini essay on what I thought of the countries we visited and their hidden secrets I remembered my English is really bad, so I would just like to say All 3 are amazing, and throwing Siberia (which I know is part of Russia) into the mix is most definitely the icing on this overly sized cake.

Basically I want to do it all again...

CDLC, Barcelona, Spain

2009-10-28T13:41:00.000-07:00

This place is awesome!! It combines the kind of outside sofa bed style bar you would expect to see in St Tropez or Puerto Banus with a restaurant and a club, decorated like something straight out of a Thai Ibiza... Carpe Diem Lounge Club is an amazing place to lounge out during the summer with a bottle of Rose or have an exquisite pan-Asian meal and simply roll on inside where the tables are moved aside and the live DJ's bring the floor to life... As usual I would recommend buying a bottle, as you are going to spend at least that much in any case, this secures you a paper white sofa bed in VIP... when the restaurant turns into a club it is made out of a medium sized dance floor avec dancers, vip lounge area and cornered off dance floor and finally an asian styled sofa slash bean bag chill room... even the website is awesome! Following this we tasted Opium (the club) next door, which is about twice the size and much livelier followed by a visit to Seven Crowns, which we depicted as a prostitute laden underground hallway club...

Song: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vw_KITvKSPA&feature=related

Drink: Grey Goose Magnum

Type: pan-Asian sea terrace restraunt and club lounge

££$$: ££££/£££££

Best memory: sitting back with my feet up watching the dancers

Worst memory: closing time is 3

Whisky Mist, Mayfair, London

2009-10-28T13:25:00.000-07:00

After a lot of talk bouncing around my friendship groups I have had the pleasure and pain of experiencing what the Mayfair Hilton's belly has to offer. On the first journey a booboo was had in which one of us got spiked and landed up in A&E, now usually this would put one off going back to such an establishment, however we returned... The club is basically a single dancefloor accompanied by a large bar and a huge VIP room. The music is a mix of house and top40 and the feel is chic with a lot of pretension. My personal view of this place is that it is an impressive joint with some serious A-listers visiting the VIP on a regular basis, but the general admission dancefloor and bar it is simply to packed. There are some positives that make this worth while, the bar staff are stupidly relaxed and pleasant, the doormen seemed genuinely concerned about our initial incedent and the cocktails and shots are very elaborate and generous (of course this is reciprocated with the handover of dollar) . There is nothing spectacular about this place except its clientele, but if your in the area WhiskyMist is worth checking out.

Song: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vr_LfbuuvEw

Drink: Jaeger shots

Type: A-list

££$$: ££££/£££££

Best memory: ibiza classics coming on, on the dance floor

Worst memory: waking up at 5:30 and attempting to get to work
Thank you -JB-

Salt Whiskey Bar, Maryleborne (edgware), London

2009-10-18T08:03:00.000-07:00

Being a non-smoker I have always enjoyed shisha due to the head rushes it gives me! Edgware is known to be London's place of choice to go for shisha and Salt is my bar of choice... There is a smart atmosphere in comparison with the more traditional shisha bars along the road, with an upstairs restaurant, large leathered whisky bar downstairs, which holds hundreds of whiskeys, and bar staff who have the knowledge to recommend you one from your usual preference of drink, for those like me who have no clue about single double bourbon malts... The added bonus to this place is that it serves shisha very well on its 6 outside heated tables with a large selection of flavours and constant coal replacement :).... Salt also has live DJ's later in the night.

Fire & LightBox, Vauxhall, London

2009-10-18T04:01:00.001-07:00

After an extended coherent night in the depths of Vauxhall I feel I am finally able to diagnose the truth of this infamous railway arch clubbing scene. Vauxhall consists of a number of pubs and clubs all situated either under the bridge or in close enough proximity to pick up on the odd-ball waves which seem to be generated from this area. There are a wide variety of locations in this area, making it what I would call a mini SOHO. Most of these venues have both standard nights and then nights with a twist. These include the Royal Vauxhall Tavern, from the outside it looks like a standard english pub but on some nights it hosts cross dressing and transexual nights, Hoist, a leather fetish club, Factory, Union, Area and Fire who all host straight nights but have a reputation for being some of the most popular clubs in the gay scene, Hidden, which is really just a labarynth venue, but has been known to host some hectic fetish nights... Overall I would class this place as either heaven if you are not straight or into early morning tear drop electronic music or absolute hell if Kings road and Mayfair are more your cup of tea.

On this occasion a group of us visited Fire for the second time, and unlike my first expereience which was a harsh one, the club provided a more friendly atmosphere and the semi-famous Sneaky Souns System headlining with a good live performance, there were of course the few odd remarks and scary figuerines wandering the depths, but that is what you should expect if you are going to party Vauxhall side. For interests sake we also ventured forth into LightBox for the first time. The club is basically the same set up as Fire, 2 dance floors a triplet of bars and a very large smoking concrete garden area, which has a selection of well presented woodern furniture (random comment but I take it is a highlight in the summer). The night was one of drum and bass filling only one dance floor with very serious faces. Think this may have to be visited again on a larger night as the experience was not worth paying for and my plan to usea a bartering chip "Will" payed off on a quick escape.

Song: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6k_1xx8F1UY&feature=related

Drink: vodka redbull

Type: gay electro

££$$: ££/£££££

Best memory: The Bang of the glitterati exploding over the crowd

Worst memory: walking through lightbox, attempting not to make eye contact with some of the minions

Cirkus Cirkör, the emotional circus, London

2009-10-18T03:55:00.000-07:00

i originally designed this blog to be a personal venting ground, then after some large amount of clubbing I thought I would turn it into a club review blog, but after my realisation that there are many more amazing things to do than just go clubbing I changed it to my view on anything I like and think others should experience... Following on from this i have got to see a number of circuses (random again, i know) from the moscow circus in moscow to la clique london side... This saturday i was lucky enough to stumble onto something new. The only way I could really describe Cirkus Cirkör would be an eclectic mix between La Clique and the intro to the TV show House. It is basically an emotional journey about life and death put together by a group of multi talented circus folk carrying out some pretty impressive moves. The story is helped along by Irya's Playground, a Swedish Rock band who i think most definitely take influence from Skunk Anansie except with a softer more harmonising voice, the group includes a very talented and crowd pleasing beat-boxing DJ who gets involved in the act just as the other members of the band. Overall it is a roller-coaster of funny, impressive, sad and wacky acts. I would recommend this to all ages!! I would also highly recommend listening to irya's tunes, very moving... Ps... The "ringmaster" is awesome! If not on drugs :p

Vendome, Mayfair, London

2009-10-14T07:37:00.000-07:00

sO... after a hectic weekend including convincing Vanessa Feltz that chicken chow mein is the best pot noodle of them all - F&cking Random I know - I am back in the office on a Monday morning attempting to look and act sprightly, however the destruction that I put myself through on Friday night and SaturDAY is still being processed by my body... The location for this boisterous misbehaving was Vendome Mayfair....I have been here three times now, and I have identified a trend... this place is basically a chic electric club with a tight door and elevated prices, but this is made up by a constant stream of good music from the live DJ booth in the center of the lit up dance floor, secluded table conclave, well mannered staff and a lot of pretty people... I would highly recommend this for special or simply smarter occasions...

Leading on from this, I feel like having a rant!! I have noticed that a huge percentage of the people I speak to about clubbing, refer to clubs, such as Vendome, Mahiki, maya, Movida...etc, as Posh Rah clubs... Now this I hugely agree with, however this does not mean they are crap.... they are expensive and they do have dress codes... But you go knowing this and you are rewarded with a smart environment and usually some impressive music and drinks!! If it's not your thing don't hate it just go to Cargo :-) which again is awesome fun

Update
been back multiple times, and the place always has the nice lush feel, however the music is a yoyo, some nights are great original electronic music, and then others are r&b classsics mixed in with the top40... make sure you know what your going to get and check their webpage slash listings....

Song: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GKzNFxEi0Kw

Drink: Grey Goose and Dom

Type: up market electro

££$$: ££££/£££££

Best memory: dance floor antics

Worst memory: the bill

my Top 10 London Clubs

2009-10-06T13:26:00.000-07:00

mY vIeW

1.The Egg - electronic Dance for all, 3 floors and a garden - Kings Cross

2.Mahiki - up market tropical cocktail lounge and underground dance floor - Mayfair

3.Fabric - Large electonic with big names live - Farringdon

4.Chloes - up Market bar, restaurant and club - South KensingtonKensington

5.Roof Top Gardens - flamingo gardens on top of London - Kensington

6.Vendome - up Market electric dance floor - Mayfair

7.Pacha - small version of the real thing for 25+ - Victoria

8.Cargo - awesome live music venue - Shoreditch

9.93 East - live music, club on weekends - Brick Lane

10.Matter - London's largest electronic, lots of big names - O2

For some
Heaven - GAY, except on mondays, huge electric - Charing Cross

And for memory sake, for those of you who had the luck to walk out of these two when the sun was rising... RIP
The End
and
The Cross
ps. not sure about the order ie. egg has been crap recently!

my Top 10 World Clubs

2009-10-06T13:25:00.000-07:00

mY wOrLd ViEw

1.Pacha, Ibiza - no explanation needed

2.Baoli, Cannes, France - Bono, live bongos, just out of this world

3.Halikarnas, Bodrum, Turkey - an open air, sea side colloseum

4.Amnesia, Ibiza - HUGE with the most amazing live shows

5.Beachcomber, Fiji - an entire Island dedicated to Party

6.KARE(MENT), Monaco - huge and stylish

7.Bed Supperclub, Bangkok, Thailand - a club in a tube. amazing food, beds, massages

8.Home, Sydney Harbour, Australia - amazing location and amazing music

9.Manhattans, Johannesburg, South Africa - middle market and safe :)

10.Bamboo, Bucharest, Romania - disgustingly rich and full of prostitutes and gangsters

The others

Metro, Melbourne, Australia - huge with igloos on the dance floor (now called Palace Theatre)
Flashbacks, Plettenberg Bay, South Africa - messy fun
Full Moon Party, Hadrin, Thailand - a collection of clubs, speakers the size of cars, this beach bash MUST be done once in a lifetime
Ministry of sound, London - simply do not remember this
Space, ibiza - amazing, and known as one of the worlds best, but obviously went twice on bad nights
Aquarium, London - oddly this is rated one of the worlds best clubs, probably due to a full size swimming pool and seriously hectic opening hours
Prime, Kiev, Ukraine - shisha everywhere
Pacha, Bucharest - humongous with hundreds of dancers
Maxx, Bucharest, Romania - amazing european electric with live shows
Cheeky Monkeys, Byron Bay, Australia - so much fun when your young dancing on tables
Farinets, Verbier - little bar under hotel, love standing on tables and having beer poured all over me

Guildford / Farncombe BARGING, UK

2009-10-02T02:12:00.001-07:00

I would definately recommend this to both UK residents and tourists, as it is both an awesome way to see the country side or/and get very drunk and enjoy the randomness of captaining a barge down the river Wey...

The deal is simple, you arrive early in the morning, and pick your barge up, fill it with nibbles and drinks and then head off, driving the motor boat yourself with no crew, with your max of 9 others...

heading through farncombe and then through Guildford stopping off at pubs of your choice or simple grassy patches for picnics... Our recommendation would be to drive into Guildford and moor up across from the Weyside Inn, which serves a good meal on the river. Then either head back if you got caught up with the socialising or carry on under the A3 and pop into the barge museum and then head back. The day ends early at 5:30pm so a plan for afterwards would be recommended, either a braai/meal in Surrey or hit one of many amazingly bad clubs in the G :)

the barges are equipped with fridges, stove and toilet but bring your own music and ICE...PS. drink driving rules apply :-P

Ibiza, Spain

2009-09-13T06:43:00.001-07:00

So I finally made it to the big cheese of music "Ibiza"... and absolutely loved it!

Obviously visiting Pacha, Space and Amnesia on more than one occasion, avoiding Privelege as the 10000 strong crowd is only strong on a Tiesto night, which we missed.

The clubbing in Pacha and Amnesia was out of this world! We were able to see live performances by Roger Sanchez and Aarmin Van Buuren in Amnesia... But the most insane night I have ever seen would have to be David Guetta ot the Fuc% Me I'm Famous night at Pacha where Dr.Dre made an appearance... this blew away my trips to Pacha in London and Bucharest...

On another note there is a huge hippy feel with millions of nudist beeches and other more standard picturesque beaches which many a relaxed day can be had :-). So if you are not into the clubbing scene you can still go and experience some culture in the old town or some amazing meals at the previously mentioned restaurants...

There was much missed, and I suppose it would be the more chic side of Ibiza, including a lot of the better restaurants such as Aura, Ocho and Blue Marlin... Though I most defiantly plan to go back and experience these properly...

Song: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z6c5H59inbA

Drink: caipirinha

Type: Club Island

££$$: ££££/£££££ (entry fees average between 35 and 55 euros)

Best memory: Dre bouncing on the Pacha stage

Worst memory: checking the bank balances

Nottinghill Carnival and Paradise Pub, London

2009-09-03T13:58:00.000-07:00

Nottinghill carnival is INSANE!! this is the third year in a row I have been, but the first I took "part", Sancho Panza was amazing with hours upon hours of live music, £2 road red stripes and thousands of happy policemen and obvious drug dealers walking around with bottles of congnac... If you are going to go to carnival get involved, dance, drink (if needed), eat jerk chicken, see the parade... simply wonder...

Paradise,19 Kilburn Lane,

Ending the night here with DJ Yoda and Kissy Sellout, this place is pretty awesome dual floored old school pub ran and arranged like a pub. The music was amazing and the crowd was hyped.. defo check the line up if you want a big one, otherwise there is a messy second floor which I am sure will provide on any night.

SW4, Clapham Common, Clapham, London

2009-09-03T13:54:00.001-07:00

After 2 years running of get loaded (same location more mixed music) we decided it was time to check out Claphams offering of electronic music including aarmin van buuren, erik prydz and Danny Howells. As usual immense day, starting at 1 and ending at a sad 9pm, with a number of tents and a main stage. Would recommend a single trip in everyones life to this event, however from past experience this should be accompanied by a visit to get loaded the day after and of course Nottinghil carnival post that.

Only hates would be Claphams policies on noise and closing time, tres sophisticated.

Hed Kandi, Kandi Vision, Marbella, Spain

2009-08-20T06:01:00.000-07:00

The reason for the picture in this little view of an amazing night out is due to the fact that the location of this club/night out is on the beach front of Puerto Banus, which happens to be a large expanse of very sexy white beds covered in white beds and masseuses.... The setting changes to a smart dance floor beside a bedded VIP area, where Hed Kandi is either streamed live from abroad or played live. The waitresses and waiters look the part and behave to please slash make you spend money..... overall a very enjoyable night that anyone who ventures to Puerto Banus should visit making a change to the more chavy money rich establishments spread around the Port.

Song:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t6NPz21u-P0

Drink: Grey goose and Moet

Type: electric beach front disco

££$$: £££/£££££

Best memory: hmm, getting in for free on Tuesdays

Worst memory:realising the bartenders were very good at making you spend money by making you feel good lol

Maya, Soho, London

2009-08-09T06:00:00.001-07:00

I liked this joint, classy people, short skirts, seriously impressive coctails. It is a small establishment with a dance floor and DJ booth sorrounded by VIP tables, which would make you feel out of place if you do not have one to go back to after a little jig. The staff let you play, dancing on tables and walls with very impressive live DJ's. The cost of this kind of treatment however is pretty steep, double vodka on the rocks costing £20. But you know what you are getting yourself into, so go prepared and don't moan. Only rael grudge I have would be with the door staff, making us wait 20 minutes to get into an empty club which opened 20 minutes prior, obviously proving power where physical strength is obviously the only strength one has.

Song:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5iBqhMfyoPU&feature=fvst

Drink: double Cirocco

Type: Smart VIP electric

££$$: ££££/£££££

Best memory: dancing on walls

Worst memory:waiting outside, knowing that no one else was inside.

151, Kings Road, London

2009-08-09T05:59:00.000-07:00

Where to start, this is the largest black hole of a dungeon in London, and the fact that it is on Kings Road makes it quite funny...The way I see it, is this place must make a killing, the classic clientel who roam the streets have cavernous pockets and the prices of the drinks handed out in this location take full advantage of this. I do not mind paying mad money for well made drinks poured by bar staff who look the part in establishments which make you feel like opening your wallet. However this place is a dingy little cavern, the carpets smell, the music is old school in a bad way, the bar staff are rude and overcharge, the door staff put no effort in and so on...

However on a positive note, I have wondered the streets of London on a Tuesday night many a time, so in fact this place being open saves the night on occasion. Trekking accross the road from Trafalgars pub (pretty smart and large, with a nice little smoking table in the back)... good luck to you and the owners :-)

Song: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S5xE4PHhAs4

Drink: badly made jaeger bombs

Type: Raah Raah hole

££$$: £££/£££££

Best memory: hmm, getting in for free on Tuesdays

Worst memory:being punched in the back of the head by a drunken raah accusing me of nothing and then apologising!

Bar Kick, Shoreditch, London

2009-08-09T05:58:00.000-07:00

Short little post, but seriously recommend this if you are anywhere near Shoreditch... cheap and cheerful the Shoreditch way with a difference.. There are multiple foolsball tables set in a "spanish" decorated/tendered environment. Really good fun for after work drinks or a chilled afternoon. There are also a number of comedy nights held downstairs and they make the most awesome Caiprahinias in the WORLD!!! friendly bar staff to boot :P

99 Club, Comedy night, Leicter Square, London

2009-07-11T01:35:00.000-07:00

For a chage from the general Friday night of party, we headed to the 99club comedy night in leicter square. We went for the cheaper tickets which meant sitting in non-reserved seating... Somehow amazingly this landed us sitting under the nose of the comedians, in the front row. And as my friends so correctly advised, we were made 1/3 of the act.... Me being south African, and half the jokes being made about race complemented all 4 comedians quite well :-).
For a level of quality I suppose I could compare this to the michael macyntire show currently on the BBC. Forgetting the obvious difference in size and amounts of lights the level of comedy was pretty good, maybe a tad bit overkill on race jokes... However the fact that the venue is pretty tight and the crowd is basically on the same level as the performer, you feel part of the act.

Would definately recommend this night especially if you Are looking for something to do in leicter square, due to the fact the place is full of tacky clubs and chain restaurants!!!

Embargo 59, Kings Road, London

2009-07-11T01:33:00.000-07:00

We have ventured many a time to the old embargos, usually by mistake after a few drinks and the lack of wanting to get a taxi any further than kings road! And as par usual we landed up doing the same on this night. After seeing the huge queue that runs up the entrance stairs we decided to go VIP, which can be as cheap as a 120 vodka bottle, which if you do the Maths is almost certainly cheaper than a standard night out, split 3/4/5 ways. The club has recently been redone and is top notch in compRison to the rivals such as crazy larries. VIP room is pretty large and lacking customers, however it is a good place to relax and then hit the main room for a bit of a boogy on the light up dance floor. The outside smoking area is pretty impressive being large, covered and Arabian style decorated. The club closes at a standard 3, so the night is short and sweet...
Once again a safe bet when you have a little bit of £€$ to spend...

Song: pretty dull actually :)

Drink: Bottles of Grey Goose

Type: Raah Raah redone

££$$: £££/£££££

Best memory: watching the ron fail hard with all of the vip bar tenders

Worst memory:waking up

Tiger Tiger, London

2009-07-07T14:05:00.000-07:00

So... I have never felt the enthusiasm that most of the guys I know have for this place, simply because the people here have never seemed very friendly, the kind that push past you and any ladies you are with looking for a reaction. However this visit has partially changed my opinion. On arrival we marched past the crowds on the ground floor up to the dirty top floor for a little bit of (bad) cheese and a little boogy!! Was not overly impressed, as pointed out many a time, this is the place for people to pick up a tourist or one of many beauties (beer goggles on)...

We headed downstairs to what I always believed was the 60's room, but to my surprise they had a pretty impressive DJ destroying the top 40. Which to be fair was pretty good and the vibe was much friendlier (possibly due to the next level everyone seemed to be on in the depths)....

The club is massive, offers a wide range of drinks, notably very impressive Caprihinas, a variaty of "safe" music, a guarantee of fellow revelers both smart and messy and a little fun.

Basically I retract my hate for Tiger Tiger and recommend to anyone looking for some fun, or at least guaranteed "fun" on any night....

Fire, Vauxhal, London

2009-06-28T13:51:00.000-07:00

Yes I went to FIRE! After a good douzen times of waiting in the queue for this legendary gay club and being turned down because we "do not look the type", "would not understand", "wearing to many clothes" and of course "not that way" we ventured in to the fog of Vauxhal's, and in my opinion, London's craziest gay club. The club itself was experiencing the same problem which seems to be hitting all of London, possibly caused by the "depression", it was empty!. However in order to cope with the 500 instead of 1200 people they simply closed 2 rooms, which made it come across much smaller but bought back the atmosphere. As with most late night gay clubs this place had an insane funky/dirty/deep house couple of DJ's which made for some good ear punishment. My only problem was that there were not the usual friendly people you find in these places, most people who could see we were not gay gave us the cold shoulder and a few even asked us what we were doing there.

The make up the club is simple, 4 medium sized rooms, each with a slightly varying theme, would say that it is a nice place rather than a smart or grimy place. I would recommend going at least once just to see what it is like, and get a glimpse of the muscle Marys (fucking hilarious), head there post 1AM to get the full experience...

Sonar, Barcelona, Spain

2009-06-20T13:39:00.000-07:00

Now this one I would recommend to everyone. Barcelona by itseld is most definately one of the funnest sexiest cities I have been to...and Sonar just makes it even better. This must be one of the most sophisticated and clean festivals there is, with astro turf instead of grass and toilets in the centre of a white walled art gallery. Had to have a sleep before I finished writing this as everyone knows the effect of sun, booze and airoplanes, being split into day time in the city and night on the beach this caters for all, the messier side I believe would be on the beach with the others returning at 7AM... The acts are a mix of UK/US/ES and a few randoms, but overall some good new stuff.... GO and Play People

Thanks Dani

Fusion, Devon, UK - Devstock

2009-06-17T09:44:00.001-07:00

So this in theory should be a review about the bumble f$£k club called Fusion. However it has to be so much more, as this is my review of DeVsToCk, the event of the century, the reason we were given this planet to play on and of course the purpose of birth.

Starting with the obvious, this is a weekend to celebrate though majesty Chris Kearny the Last’s yearly (rather than monthly?) birthday. 30 fellow revellers take to the skies, seas and land and make there way down to little Devon, more precisely a place of no name and of huge secrecy….Here these revellers party there socks off for 3 days and nights, involving the precious nectar of Satan (amazing, spell checker made me put a capital S on Satan, I always knew there was something fishy with Microsoft) and the goodness of gods blue skies and green grass…

The pack included his Mighty, The green piper of hard head, who took advantage of gods green grass and ensured happiness throughout the lands… There was also much bread and wine, or in this case BBQ and Vodka for the people…. Devons seaside provided for grand fires to be made by true pyro-professionals, of course this could only be undertaken following a treacherous Hike through the great muddy mountains…

On a clubbing note Fusion was visited, which turned out to be an absolute ball, meeting all the locals, talking about tractors and farmers… J no, it was actually a good laugh, with friendly forgiving staff, a good sized dance floor, hen nights asking us to eat candy underpants off them and hand over our own… Alcohol prices which have never been heard of before and a group of 30 revellers all either being kicked out or landing up back at the mansion with no recollection of what happened post 12am. In the case of the green piper, he did not make it passed 9pm, and feels really bad for this J…..

Thanks CK

Bergkirchweih Beer Festival, Erlangen, Bavaria, Germany

2009-06-08T02:25:00.000-07:00

This is Europe's biggest Beer garden, with 11000 seats and a million visitors. It is different to Oktober Fest in that it is obviously smaller and less well known. Hence we decided to visit it, get a little bit of German culture and meet the locals at the same time as beer sampling. The festival is based on a side of a hill with multiple Kellers (cellars) running along the hill, each producing a different type of beer.

You walk around with a Mas (a litre mug) which you pay a deposit on and spend the night getting it refilled. There are hundreds of mad German live bands, doing seriously impressive covers of the classics and the occasional German rant. We were certaing that the bands were also contracted to play some crazy drinking song in which everyone attempts to down their drink, creating a good revenue for the bars.

There is also a pretty large theme park to cater for all ages, we did a long weekend in which we landed up eating Elephant size Pretzels and all kinds of lovely fattening German food. I would definately recommend this to anyone who is keen for a alcoholic break and a bit of German culture involving dancing on tables and covering eachother in beer from head to toe.

To Travel, To holiday or To London

2009-06-04T04:09:00.000-07:00

This sprouts from the original idea behind GmanTV, the difficulties and constraints of meeting strangers in London, in which the creator battles his way through the straight cold faces of London's inhabitants, attempting to meet and re-meet new people through his daily routine. My view on his conquest is a simple one, which I am guessing most of you agree with, meeting new people is rewarding and is something we should all strive to do, however London makes this pretty complicated. My standard trip to work on the tube/bus/train involves being in touching distance (no I am not a Freak) of nearly 100 people, and after 7 months of doing this I have only ever spoken to a maximum of 5 people and never gone further than using 2 words. Now going from this situation to actually speaking to someone and arranging a re-meet is leaps and bounds passed my personal comfort levels.

Following on from this dilemma, comes my favourite solution... Travelling. Holidays are always good and we all appreciate a break from the office and some time to sit back and sip G&T's, in the sun or on the slopes, however there is a flaw to this perfect scenario. The average holiday usually only involves meeting strangers when in social areas ie.drunk (I speak from the experience of my friendship groups) which usually leads to short lasting, if not sexual, friendships, which disappear by the end of the night. Travelling is a bit different, most of the time you spend on the beach, in a guest house, climbing mountains or trekking through jungles is done with like minded people all looking to meet strange and new individuals. The overall comfort of the travelling scene may not be the 5* holidays that a lot of us look for, but they are usually much more active and take you to places of the world that practically do not do 5*. The challenges and differences in cultures that are experienced while travelling such as language barriers and physical activities like scaling volcanoes make your group of travelers form a more long lasting bond, with stories to be told in the far future, leading to long lasting friendships, which you do not usually pick up while holidaying.

Originally I thought this was limited to the gap year age (18-20) with my personal experience of a "round the world" trip. But more recently I did a month on the trans-Siberian railway, where I was one of the youngest, and 2 weeks in Fiji, where again the people we "played" with were more of the 25-30 range.

My view is that everyone who has not given it a go, save some dollar and book a flight to anywhere. You can see places you never believed you would go to, simply stay in a guest house and plan your visit on the fly by the word of mouth of the travellers and locals, once cannot hurt.

Disclaimer: I know that travelling is not for everyone, and I have nothing against holidays, I love them.

Beachcomber Island, Fiji

2009-05-26T23:31:00.001-07:00

Now I have named this post Beachcomber simply beacuase this is the little, and i mean little, island that has the biggest party reputation out of all 322 Fiji islands... The place is entirely designed to party and then to cure the after effects the following day. Basically £30 gets you a room in the (fuck fest) open air 77 bed dorm and 3 all you can eat meals. Other than this there is obviously a huge bar with both inside and outside tables and a reasonably sized beach sand dance floor with accompanying sound system (warning: the music is 3 years out of date and will require a forceful being to allow the tourists to plug in one of their ipods). The night begins with a happy hour from 6-7, with coctails and beer jugs reduced, followed by dinner at 7. Now this means by the time you go to dinner you are absolutely obliterated following multiple drinking games (if you have any spirit at all :) ) and dinner does not really happen/ get remembered. Post dinner are the Fijian dancing games which definately get the blood and sweat flowing. Following this it becomes a pretty standard party house with people passing out everywhere and dancers continuing on until they have no more energy/alcohol to run on. Waking up for sunset and spending the whole day on the beach just in front of the bar all misty eyed and partially drunk is most definately the highlight to this event, and maybe the midnight see swimming...

Song: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZVzOGcShivU

Drink: Fiji Gold Beer Jugs

Type: large beach sand island club/bar

££$$: ££/£££££

Best memory: waking up for sunset still drunk and simply passing out on the beach for the whole day

Worst memory:jumping on coral in the middle of the night (did not matter at the time of course)

Lost Society and Artesian Well, Clapham, London

2009-05-03T09:06:00.000-07:00

I guess I will begin this by venting my personal hatred to Clapham, now I have recently come to the conclusion that this was born partially from my absolute hatred of Infernos (as I arrived sober and realised it is a feeding ground for ugly men trying to pick up paraletic ladies) though I may have a different view if I was as wasted as the general population of this little "large" club, and partially because of the distance between central and Clapham. I take back my hatred, I believe it is a great place for people who have recently left uni or who are just starting out in London, providing well priced little clubs and pubs scattered around, with the additional benefit of a nice scenic little London location.

Both of these clubs seem to be pretty good/chilled, packed to the brim with queues but they make up for this firstly at Lost Society by the amazing cranberry coctails which knocked me for 6... and then at Artesian Well, with what I would call some good DJ'ing skills....

REVISIT 13/11/09
So I went back to Lost Society, at an early time of 8PM and realised that the place is actually quite nice and sophisticated, most of the place is pre-booked sections for parties with an age restriction of over 23's, the bar tenders were speedy and even though the weather was atrocious the smoking garden was heaving....

Song: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QKROlUWkbsQ&feature=related

Drink: Cranberry sock kickers

Type: side by side 2 floor housy clubs

££$$: £££/£££££

Best memory: having a friendly clapham resident pay my entry on the account of lack of paper

Worst memory:walking back to Pimlico...not cool

Langley, Covent Garden, London

2009-04-26T02:13:00.001-07:00

A safe bet... Nice large multiroom club with lots of bars and seating space. Easy to get to and a very predictable night. The place brings in a few biggish names to attract guests including the singer of the song below. Would defo recommend this for tourists, especially because it is in Covent Garden

Song: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z-HYPoByBF4

Drink: veuve

Type: large geeneric dance club

££$$: ££/£££££

Best memory: Seeing mr. I don't want no body singing his insanely bad song live and trying his hardest to look like he was enjoying the experience...

Worst memory: being exposed to Mr.F's toilet destruction

Dans Le Noir Restaurant, Farringdon, London

2009-04-25T01:24:00.001-07:00

This is an amazing experience. You arrive at a "bar" , fill with randoms waiting around drinking cocktails. You are given a 4 word menu, red (meat), white(fish), green(Vegetarian) and silver(surprise), you also pick your wine and drinks here. Through a curtained door appears a waiter (100% blind waiter) and he puts your hands onto each others shoulders and then his, and you follow each other through 2 doors and 3 sets of curtains, where you are seated in PITCH black... The rest of the night is basically the same as any other restaurant, you are served bread and your drinks followed by your 2 or 3 courses. If you need to go to the bathroom you have to shout for your waiter. There are no phones allowed so there is absolutely no light in the room at all. Food and wine taste totally different because of your heightened senses and eating and pouring wine become quite slow but very entertaining. I thoughroughly recommend this place to everyone. At the end of the meal you are shown photos of what you ate (I personally had no clue).It is definately an amazing experience that I would go back and do again, as you are not shown what the room looks like their is still some strange draw to the unknown.

Exeter, Devon, UK- review by Night

2009-04-23T00:33:00.001-07:00

This is partly driven by boredom, partly by my want to remember my nightlife at uni and partly by the mass questions I get about the night life at Exeter University. Unlike London, Leeds, Manchester or the like, Exeter is a little city which is practically dominated by the University; hence the locals take the presence of students like paedophiles in a playground. However there are some silver linings to this local hating mini village.

Firstly there may only be a max of 4 useable clubs, but straight out of school or off the back of your gap year, they are exactly what you need (remember this is a bit old…but)

Arena

From my memories I would call this the electric dace club out of the lot, you still get the cheese played and clothes taken off, but it is more dance floor than anything else. With a guest appearance from the backwards imbed Welsh Glenn from BB.

Timepiece

Pub on one level dirty dirty dual level club above, lots of classic music and rugby guys getting naked and pissing with there pants on the floor (aah I get to vent here, I must admit I kind of hung around the rugby crowed but I was not cool enough to eat my own vomit, piss naked and kiss men…how I missed out)

Warehouse

The large club with multiple rooms on the Key (on the river) standard shitty little club, which becomes bearable by the many offers on Alco pops drowning your humanity and vision..

Voltz

The club to be at… hoho… probably the most renowned and changed names almost as many times as warehouse this club has a standard refurbished top level, sporting a central bar and 5/10 seating areas…Night to remember would be Bade’s who gives a shit night where he actually got 3 strippers in….The bottom floor is more like a hole, full of naked men dancing to Baywatch, though credit due, think we all pulled more women in this hole than the rest of our lives hold for us…

Other "clubs"

Rococcos – seriously local yokel, few visits in 3 years were enough and provided for some fun outside the norm.

The Vault – the gayest club on the planet – One visit in a life time is enough – not the usual London good music dancing gay club but more a hole in the floor with sleazy old men speaking in Devenish bark.

The Lemmy – Awesome amazing student union, being I think the largest “club” in Exeter, but as it is a SU I am not considering this a form of club, however there are many live acts (I got to see Rhazel and put on my handkerchief around my head and wear my trousers down low)

So once again that is my personal view on an alcohol driven industry, I feel I should possibly change this conundrum and review something more cultural...hmmm I wonder...

PS.. Alcohol is really bad for you and makes you do fucking dumb things, so drink responsibly little ones…

WWE @ The O2, London - a Warning

2009-04-20T22:39:00.001-07:00

Chavtastic, a childhood dream come true, but, and a big but, it is unbelievable how fake the fighting is up close (10 rows from the front) and the acting is even worse... Was pretty amazing seeing how large these guys actually are, no steroids my arse, and was even more interesting watching the female wrestlers :) who are massive as well... Overall an interesting affair but not recommended as it really is designed for red necks and children...

Funnies-------------------------------------------------------------------

Pman - "I just saw Batista walk into the staff only entrance, he was so short" after doing some research I found out he is 6"6 and weighs 130kg......Pman you wanna tell us something?

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

Me - "Mate I am glad I did it, though it's one of those things you do and never ever do again"
Pman - "Well now is the time to tell you this is my second time"

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

Crimson Fetish night @ Club Hidden, Vauxhall, London

2009-04-19T08:27:00.001-07:00

OK, so finally my quest to make an interesting blog has taken me off the standard Radar and led me to a launch night of a brand new FETISH club [{CRIMSON]}...This is not my thing at all, however I have a dangerous view that everything must be experienced once...

It began at a Munch (Kinky peoples term for a gathering of like minded people) where the general topic of discussion was S&M, Costumes, Latex, toys... all pretty crazy to me, but standard for these people. following this it was onto the club with everyone turning up dressed normally, however carrying very large costume bags...There is a "girl bitch" who decides who can come in and who cannot, as we were dressed in suits she decided we would have to take off our trousers or tops... so we nobly voted to go topless.. The general dress was costume, including old men in leather thongs / full PVC gimp suits, ladies and men fully nude and people (man/woman not sure) with metal armour on parts of there body. Everyone within the club was very accepting to us "vanilla" folk, and there were no highly strung people causing problems anywhere, hence we remained quite happily until 4am.

DISCLAIMER: DO NOT READ ON IF YOU ARE EASILY FREAKED OUT

The first thing we got to see was a 6"4 man have a butt plug with horse hair coming out of it inserted into his rectum by a doll... this quickly set the tone for the night with our eyes popping out of our heads.

Within the "dungeons", which there were about 4 of, there were various displays....

ropes - the art of tying people up and usually hanging them from metal frames
whipping - pretty obvious
needle play - (the most interesting) surgically inserting needles into the body forming patterns and then joining these needles up with ribbon.

Yup the 3rd one is real, and those were big needles, and were inserted into places you would not think needles would go....we were told the endorphins produced by the pain gives you some kind of super high, and from what we saw, I think they are right.

Overall was a very interesting night, and good to experience, well view, what some pretty nice people enjoy. The overall club is pretty impressive to.

Drink:Bells Whisky

Type: Fetish

££$$: £££/£££££

Oddities: having my nipples twisted by a 60 year old lady on the door, having a hole bitten in my arm by Jame's acquaintance

Best memory: not really best, but more interesting to actually see this in real life not just on TV, no harm done.

Worst memory: thinking the butt plug situation was happening to a girl, and then having the harsh reality of a man having a horse tail planted....

Bar Music Hall, Shoreditch, London

2009-04-16T13:28:00.000-07:00

Second time I have been to this joint, and both for live music, except this time it was to see Beni Giles Live who put in an awesome performance debuting two of his new singles and his music video for stranger... the location is pretty aweosme, and the bar is pretty impressive, with a mass amount of beers on tap and bottle ranging all the way up to 10% beer... friendly staff with some humerous attempts at making out of this world strong shots.... On busier nights the windows are blacked out and a double sound proof door come into play, as it gets pretty hectic with lots of dancing, however the layout of the single room central bar works well and lets you have whatever kind of night you want to...

Song: http://itunes.apple.com/WebObjects/MZSto

re.woa/wa/viewAlbum?id=307108472&s=143444

Drink:10% Belgium beer with a name beginning in M - oh my dayz

Type: large bar dance hall

££$$: ££/£££££

Best memory: Seeing Caspars smile when his brother put on his official music video

Worst memory: cleaning the sink fill of soggy popcorn and pouring a new cup of tea on my naked foot

Southernpickle.com

2009-04-14T08:14:00.000-07:00

southerpickle.com is a blog which follows an XL “mad” public school boy who is travelling a large part of the world over 5 months in his year directly following his school career… The personality of this Space Monkey, lively, alcoholic and overly confident, should make for an interesting if not very cringe worthy read. I would take a guess at it being comparable to a Skins / Inbetweeners season out of school, at least for the members of cast who involuntarily make you fall on the floor in stitches. As this entry is being written, there is currently only a picture of the hillbilly himself, but I am sure as the days tick on after his flight out of London on the 15^th of April it will liven up and produce the standard set of scary truths that the youths in this elite category of teenager experience, while blowing off all the years of strict discipline imposed upon them by teachers and parents alike leaving behind a well “rounded” man…We shall see….ha-ha good luck dude!!

Pimlico, London, a personal view

2009-04-14T02:13:00.000-07:00

Having a quiet Tuesday morning after a partially hectic Bank Holiday in which a couple of us Pimlico residents decided to test the afternoon sun in a few locals… Was questioned rigorously outside a same sex bathroom about what exactly there is to do in the land of Pimlico, as it is not a very obvious in your face kind of place, I attempted to explain but got stopped half way through as the queue for the bathroom was manic and the couple decided to enter together lol…So here is my attempt at explaining what there is to do in Pimlico after living there for two years…

To start I would say that the area of Pimlico is kind of split into 3 sections, each very different from the next. The nicest area in my eyes would be the area closest to Victoria, consisting of a few little shops and a multitude of ¾ out 5 star restaurants… here there are also a number of old school pubs and a hotel bar… Next would be the area located along lupus street… We know this as the dodge area, fill of school kids…not much here except quite a nice restaurant/bar called goya..

Finally there is the area located alongside Vauxhall bridge.. here there are a number of pubs including the Swan, quite a new age pub with ok food, the Gallery, supposedly gay old school expensive pub and then a couple of dingy pubs not really worth listing…

Basically there is not much in Pimlico it just provides for a nice quiet living area, very accessible by tube/bus/taxi to the centre of London…

There are also interesting places within walking distance such as Pacha, amazing 25-35 house club, in Victoria which is awesome and then the Young’s bar under St George Wharf, which is an awesome Thames side bar with a huge amount of space, and for the more mature...Tate Britain

Supper Club, Istanbul, Turkey, Europe

2009-04-11T07:06:00.000-07:00

Little bit on a very European style House club underneath the Bogazici bridge (the massive suspension bridge connecting Europe and Asia). This one was a classic Turkish "Rip the Tourists off", the second we turned up at the door we were told entry fee was a table, meaning purchasing a bottle of VoddyK, after copious amounts of red wine, shisha and raki... Ps. this is not a good combination, we are still stepping on planet Pluto and it's 5pm the following day. Pretty awesome club, consisting of a 2 rooms, the outer sactum being a simple square room with a bit of foliage and not much else, though the main room was pretty impressive. It has a standard section with a vibrating floor and then a huge stair case with little levels coming off each side with more expensive tables and huge white bed seats leading up to the roof. If you go to Turkey and want some fun check this out, the bottle was pretty cheap at £100 and the waiters do a good job of running from table to table with free sex on the beach shots and fruit platters all night.... My Head KO!!

Song: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WIKQqL3ewTY&feature=related

Drink:Raki

Type: fancy house club

££$$: ££/£££££

Best memory: feeling the music pulsate through the floor

Worst memory: getting a taxi to Asia at 9 in the morning

La Clique, Hippodrome, London

2009-04-07T07:41:00.001-07:00

La Clique, a French sounding Australian presented burlesque circus show, absolutely awesome! Located in the Hippodrome. Involves a lot of crazy mini acts from Dutch magicians to a Freddy Mercury juggling queen, this show will keep anyone entertained, though I would recommend the use of alcohol as some of the jokes are quite out there…Not advised for kids as there are scenes such as a stripping magician who lands up pulling a handkerchief out of her vajaayjaay….Ending in the hippodrome bar drinking with the cast is a good ending to the show, with costs ranging from £15 for standing to £45 for Posh seats with table service.

Beni Giles

2009-04-07T03:49:00.000-07:00

Beni Giles has been making, playing, singing music since he was prepubescent. He has come out with a large number of “products”, including his own version of summer rock in the form of Paisley Grammar. Now he has his own new poppy sound in the simple form of Beni Giles, with the iTunes available track Stranger…While he battles his way through ;music domination he seems to leave a trail of quality work in his wake, and my personal view is he will eventually find the thing that will take him to the silver lined stars!

Disclaimer: This plug entitles me to a phenomenally large percentage of all gross sales across the board :P.

Fabric, Farringdon, London

2009-04-07T03:21:00.001-07:00

What an amazing club and night… After living in london for 2 years and experiencing clubs that this place inspired I finally made my late night ass over. Huge place with massive queue until about 2am, when we arrived… straight in. The big names seem to be hugely attracted to this place, giving us the luck of seeing the most outrageous chemical brothers set, sitting under their noses… We all agreed that we would be back and that this place is still going strong, unlike the Egg and the RIPPED cross and end…

Song: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H0C7NhXffKw

Drink: Rasberry Martinis which never actually happened

Type: Massive electric club

££$$: ££/£££££

Best memory: Standing underneath the chemical brothers at 4am

Worst memory: losing the mighty caspar and hurtley to the old man syndrome of sleep

BokBar, Covent Garden, London

2009-04-03T05:02:00.000-07:00

Loving the authenticity of this small underground South African bar... featuring all the SA booze you can think of, very cheap boerewors meals (around £6 a meal) happy bartenders, live music on occasions... It is just a nice get away from the standard covernt garden practice..

Song: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rNStVlJWy88&feature=related

Drink:Windhoek Lager

Type: South African Bar

££$$: ££/£££££

Best memory: Biltong

Worst memory: Losing a £5 note to the wall...

DapperMag

2009-04-03T04:55:00.000-07:00

This Totally free online mag has just been released and has very similar qualities to a loaded/FHM, though on a slightly shorter basis. The mag is delivered online in a PDF style and can be viewed anywhere all you have to do is go to the site and add your email address. COntains car reviews, models, restaurant reviews more models.... Very impressed!! Click it up.. perfect for that random 30 minute read...

DapperMag

Five and Lime, Guildford, Surrey, UK

2009-03-29T13:45:00.000-07:00

Love this place, visited Harpers club and Legion club on the same night, but they have been dominated by this little secret. More of a bar than a club, with Live DJ's playing close to cutting edge new House music, with an awesome interior and a very large live DJ garden.. Heated in Winter... Door policy means that you need a girl for every boy to get in and that the place is full of your standard guildford bleach blondies... the manager has a similar policy for the bar ladies, and hence they are all very skimpily dressed and standard blonde....

Song: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3SPImLfwKcY&feature=channel_page

Drink:Double Vodka Red Bull

Type: House Bar

££$$: ££/£££££

Best memory: Rocking out under the heaters in the garden

Worst memory: leaving and heading to Legion and then harpers

Electric Bird Cage, Haymarket, London

2009-03-29T13:35:00.000-07:00

I must admit this was a good night and quite an impressive little club. It was very multicultural, with most attendees being of international descent... Nicely sized lounge area in one room and then a smaller but more spacious dance floor area in the other room. Good, close to commercial house and pop music, from live decks....very nice cocktails setting you back £8 a pop!! overall an impressive little spot, however it did get jam packed, guessing its location does not help this

Song: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ttcboE1GrNg&feature=channel_page

Drink:mohito

Type: standard upper market dance club

££$$: £££/£££££

Best memory: sitting back sipping away on a lie down sofa watching the world go by

Worst memory: Losing the Iphone

DownGrade

2009-03-28T04:17:00.000-07:00

OK! So I lost my iphone £391 for a replacement! and the number 3 comes in 3 months!

I Have decided to downgrade to a piece of poo nokia, and I shall report on the differences, trying to explain my long laslove for all in one technology, and exactly why the iphone is GOD!!!

Be back to report soon...

ELECTRIC BIRD CAGE CAN SUCK MY IPHONE ASS

I have now been using my OLD SCHOOL NOKIA for 3 days, in which it has been to work, clubbing and across 3 hours of public transport...

as it is pretty obvious what it is actually lacking (camera, wifi, internet, games, mp3 player) I will briefly explain what I have found annoying/beneficial

about the situation without going into these...

Firstly the benefits, amazingly there are some, with new phones people only comment on their cool appeal for a month, with old school phones,

the cool factor never dissapears (whether it is a stare of retro or sheer laughter). Without all the connectivity such as facebook twitter

email, you save a lot of valuable time usually wasted on these sites, as you simply cannot access them. The battery lasts 11 days compared to

11hours, and when they drop they really do bounce...

The sad side is simple, I cannot blog, surf the net, watch porn :), listen to music, take photos, be digitally sociable, chat, set multiple alarms,

link to my google calendar...

Now the simple question is, what to do....

Public Transport Madness

2009-03-28T04:15:00.000-07:00

Disclaimer: this is where my mind travels to after multiple 14hour working days and mass amounts of stupid O'Clock mornings : only try these in 3rd world countries.... they are bad and stupid

Bus skittles
Inspired by IBMer Mez, this involves boarding a bus during rush hour and taking a spot standing centrally amongst the crowd. With thou hands strongly forced deep inside thou pockets allow the motion of the bus to lift you in any direction it desires, throwing you into your fellow journey men. After a few minutes and many unhappy faces, lock eyes with the worst stare and pull your hands out, which have been covered in bandages and say "I am human to".

Bus rocket
This is very similar to the above, except here you need to board a much emptier bus with a couple of your comrades. Once positioned near the front of the bus ensure that one of your friends is secretly forced to stand in the middle, holding onto at least one bar. When the bus takes a large grunt and pulls off at speed, smack the hands of the central victim and see how far you can get him to fly down the bus....

The open endness to these games allow for many variations in rules and scoring.... Alcohol may assist in this.....

gManTV - review

2009-03-26T02:26:00.000-07:00

Once again another plug.. This blog follows one of the most "out there dudes" I know. He would gladly speak to Hitler about the weekend rugby score, hence I guess why he is running this blog all about speaking to randoms scattered mostly around London and currently mostly young ladies (though he assures his readers that this is all changing). So if you live in London, or just feel like picking up tips by following a blog on the thing most of us find almost impossible to do, hit up gManTV.com

Disclaimer: this site is in it's very early infancy, I would describe it as a zygote at present...

Www.gmantv.com
Ps. Zygote: a fertilized egg containing all the DNA information to make a baby. (gross yes?)

the pic:The man himself, with his Big boy Trusty steed and his little Moped - I can see why you get funny looks on the way to work...

Public Transport Book Review

2009-03-26T01:48:00.000-07:00

The original reasoning for this blog was to attempt to improve my writing and spoken word. After 2 weeks it became a written account of all the drunken wild nights me and my comrades embark on... This is what I would call a "fail"....
So to partially keep up with my original attempt I picked up reading these mad things called books, they have come across like movies and possibly even TV shows, except they are much more portable and seem to last much longer, not to mention the fact these mysterious blocks of pulped tree do not require the need of a download.... So here is my first book review, which covers the last 3 months of tube rides.....

A little history of the world.

This came about from my clear lack of general knowledge and my pure hatred to the entire subject of history....
This book is basically a hugely abridged version of world history ranging pretty much all the way back from the dinosaurs up to our lovely 90's. But the detail comes through from about 3000BC.... The author did such a good job that this book has been translated into more than 50 languages, originally written in German!
This book truly is amazing and kept me entertained for hours on end... Mr.Owen from standard 7... If you had used this instead of all those highs boring text books you may have not been bullied so much.

Seat grabbing: $$/$$$$$
Brain stimulation: $$$$/$$$$$$
Imagination flow: $$$/$$$$$

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/A_Little_History_of_the_World

KEY
$: bang for your buck

Seat grabbing: the need to ignore the world to get back to your book.

Brain stimulation: the amount of facts/general knowledge/history.

Imagination flow: the level of description leading to your imagination creating a different universe for your mind to live in for the duration of the book (my imagination is pretty hectic, so probably knock a off.

Spud.

This book is in fact written by a south African, which I am guessing may atop a few of you reading this about now.... But for those of you who are still here, this is amazing, especially for anyone who went to a public boarding school in the UK, or the equivalent private south African boarding school out in the sticks..

Basically spud is like 13/14 (dark I know) and the book follows his pretty standard life through his first year in high school... It works on about a laugh a minute, and considering if you are like most human beings, that is a lot more laughs than you would get out of any movie, yes even 'anchor man' you absolute losers :)...
There is a second book coming out in may, and I have already pre-ordered that bad boy on amazon.
This book is hilarious....

Seat grabbing: $$$$/$$$$$
Brain stimulation: $/$$$$$
Imagination flow: $$/$$$$$

Watchmen

Yes just like the movie... Except this is what the movie was based on, a times top 100 novels of all time top 10 stander, and it's a graphic novel... That's like a comic book except with much more detail, and in this case quite a few full book style pages integrated into this caped hero story through the streets of the mid 50's.
I have been told this has ground breaking drawings by my graphical informant casparoni.... And it most definitely has a very entertaining, back to your childhood imagination, story line....only a 10th of the way through, but have heard very good things from my geek squad. Aka IBMer Mez.

Seat grabbing: $$$/$$$$$
Brain stimulation: $$/$$$$$
Imagination flow: $$$$/$$$$$

Chasing Che

Yup this is all about Che Guevara, well at least his motorcycle journey through south America before he became the infamous che.... This follows some dude tracking his history and the discoveries of taking a personal journey across south America.
I would suggest this to all south American fanatics, especially if you are thinking of doing this kind of thing. Ches personal diary is obviously very interesting, but this tackles the problems of carrying out this task in today's world, while following Ches and his comrade's diaries for the historical experience....

Seat grabbing: $/$$$$$
Brain stimulation: $$$/$$$$$
Imagination flow: $/$$$$$

DNA GENES

2009-03-22T14:31:00.000-07:00

I suppose you could call this a plug, but these guys make the most awesome T-shirts, that you can be sure of being unique wherever you go!!!!! good stuff

http://www.dnagenes.co.uk/

Kitts, Sloane Square London

2009-03-22T14:23:00.000-07:00

Nice Little Joint right next to Sloane Square station, after pre drinks at Aragon house and steet fighter drinking, I can't remember any of Kitts, except that it was quite smart, generic house music, impressive coctails, and well located :@P

Song: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M2FoWK-R9oI (not cool)

Drink:Absolut Bulls

Type: Raah de Raah

££$$: £££/£££££

Best memory:Kicking Caspars arse at street fighter (can't remember Kitts)

Worst memory: Waking up with the oven on and a pizza on fire

Old Men the End of the Egg

2009-03-13T19:53:00.001-07:00

No clue why am I sitting at home writing this at 3am.. but....

So as usual the Friday night began with a beer in the local and landed up with the woodem and I attempting to gain entry into Pacha, with no luck as of lack of ID (ID IS ESSENTIAL HERE) we landed up in a cab and at the egg...

after 3 hours of dancing with 21 year olds and asking eachother what the fuck we are doing here (this place is officially dead, like 50 people in a club that fits 5/8oo? ) we have landed up at home watching twilight moaning about dancing pains and drinking tea...

ARE WE REALLY OLD? WTF!!!!!!!!!

Sexy Socks - Lions Rampant

2009-03-12T01:20:00.001-07:00

Socks ... I know, I didn't think they mattered either, but to my surprise they are actually quite a big thing at UNi and when suited... My advice, go for a pair of rampants, still unique enough not to bump into someone with the same pair at the same time as possessing the quality and colours to soothe all your disguating unfashionable foot needs...
PS. I wore a pair of these bad boys 9-5 for a week of hardcore snowboarding and they are still like new... Though I can't say they smelled new....

PPS. Standing at victoria station, and bewildered at the fact I just wrote about socks!!!

http://www.lionsrampant.com

Farinets, Verbier, Switzerland

2009-03-08T12:58:00.000-07:00

I Heart Verbier... amazing skiing, amazing apres and amazing people - just to many of the male variety!

Farinets is the maddest little apres location 6-9 ie before dinner - everyone is wasted standing on chairs and tables dancing to a live DJ - getting to the bar involves stretching through randoms legs, usually topless covered in beer - we arrived late and landed up nailing 8 bottles in 20 minutes in order to be on the Farinets level - DO NOT GO SOBER - however the entire bar is split into 2 - this mad little place and nextdoor a raah raah little pub (1 franc more for a beer) which is much more chilled and has leather sofas everywhere, large contrast to the wooden bar stools nextdoor... :)

UPDATE: 2010
returned this year, and the vibrance has not gone anywhere, the live bands are still mad, the amount of beer thrown around is still in the hundreds of litres and the fun had is still amazing!!! DO IT

Song: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=16u0wwCfoJ4

Drink:Carlsberg

Type: Insane Apres ski pub

££$$: ££/£££££

Best memory:dancing to some old school cheese and dancing appropriately

Worst memory: having beer poured on me by a fat beer covered topless 18 year old paedophile

G&T fuelled rant

2009-02-25T07:13:00.001-08:00

So it seems I have a lot of time to burn, while my lovely colleagues are in the halogenic hell (my pet name for M&S) I am sitting back sipping G&T's in T5's new lounge (which I have a huge gripe with, gone are the days when you got first class treatment being a business patron, now they split first and business by 2 whole escalators (damn)... point of this post? umm to gloat? no.. It originated when I signed up to this blog and twitter, after signing up to myspace, bebo, facebook, PSN and I am sure there are others I have forgotten... point being I reckon that anyone could be me personality wise, minus a few of the social flaws i posess and mankind do not understand (Willy B inspired). Almost everything I do is online, it is mental. I am not one of those 1984 big brother haters, CCTV helped me out when I was spiked and hid in a dumpster on guildford high street for 6 hours, well actually it didn't the police just laughed down the phone at me... however I believe there are huge advanteges to the excessive tracking, but it is mad how much we give up to the random world voluntarily, he says typing away the most boring parts of his life... Well that's it, I need another drink, Queen just started jamming on the iphone.. (help)....

Future Frolics

2009-02-24T08:18:00.001-08:00

The last six months have been overly hectic with UK based clubbing and my body is now officially shouting out to shut down and give up. So while I sit here in my very halogenic, panda eyed, office listening to the big dog talk about something to do with a very big company in lots of trouble I have decided to rant on about what I want to do in the next 18 months! In an attempt to see if any of you crazy people are keen on joining me…

In the very near future (Tomorrow) I will be hitting Hungary and Verbier, but I guess this is a bit late to ask if you want to party simply see you there….

HIT LIST 2009:

Fiji in May (Hudson Phillips you better be there)

BennyCassim in Barcelona – don’t know much but sounds very cool

Sensation White in Amsterdam - look it up on YouTube so big, so white

Kanzuntip in Ukraine - Ukrainian Ibiza

Ibiza in Spain (that was simplistic)

Mozambique and South Africa (December) – Mozambique has golden beaches and the best reefs in the world.

Countries on the KILL TO DO list

Cuba

Mexico

Colombia

Canada

Brazil for Carnival

Additional breaks:

Barcelona: Fashionista Sista can speak the Spanish

Budapest, Hungary: free accom and supposed birth right :P

So if any of you (being people I actually know) are keen for any of this just shout!!

Valmont, Kings Road, London

2009-02-21T03:20:00.000-08:00

Sadie's big day began in Fulham at Amuse Bouche (blondie blondie blondie) the sloney Poney on to Velmont and then ended in the Egg (again..)

Velmont is a smart looking guest list strict commercial raah club (not saying any of these are bad things, and did really enjoy it)... Luckily we got a table in the midst of the dance floor with a bit of bubbles and Kid Cudi remixed backwards to rock out to...

Everyone including the bouncers were very polite, but after all somehow finding ourselves outside with a few hundred Wanna Taxi Boss's we decided to make a night out of it and really rocked out from 2-7... followed by a cup of builders tea and a very bad headache... Happy Birthday Sades was awesome!!!

Song: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9tZRgJVWcfc

Drink:veuve-clicquot

Type: Raah de Raaah commercial house, quite smart with very nice boothes

££$$: £££/£££££

Best memory:Rocking out to Kid Cudi on Valmonts minescule dance floor 3:00 the taxi to the egg

Worst memory: Losing everyone to the outside for smokes, therefore standing at the bar solo writing on my phone my last memory (memory blanks suck)

Club Azulu, Pacha, London

2009-02-16T02:18:00.001-08:00

So I truely believe I have an addiction to keeping busy and it is impossible for me to stay still... after a very sociable Friday the 13th scary movie night at the Wimbledon Brothel, Saturday came along... To keep from going mad, we hit Salt Shisha and Whisky bar on Edgware road (pretty smart but empty)...

10PM came along and driving past Pacha in Victoria we ran in to check the music and the dress code...

So fuck it, we walked from Pimlico to Victoria and danced from 12am to 430am on a lot of red bull, had an awesome night remember everything and did not do anything stupid.. could this be the answer to those sleepless painful nights and disgustingly large hangovers?

The club is a Medium to large size electric club located at Victoria train/tube station (entrance on the opposite side of the block) it usually has pretty famous/good DJ's, 2 rooms, one very large and one smaller and more chilled with a few lie down bed areas. There is a very smart VIP area with large platters of fruit brought to your table, starting at 500/800...

Song: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=48uEE7Fnf9g

Drink:Red Bull

Type: 25-30 year old house club (smarter than the average dance club)

££$$: £££/£££££

Best memory: 3:15am Martijn Ten Velden (Waking up the next morning and feeling strong)

Worst memory: walking in -2 degree weather

Pigalle Piccadilly Circus, London - February 2009

2009-02-13T00:02:00.001-08:00

So the plan was to show our support for Collin at the Pigalle, which we originally thought was pig ale, as in a cheesy little club, to our surprise it turned out to be a very smart little club 1000 floors underground. The music was good but not our style, however they made up for it by having the most charismatic MC and some coked up ghetto mad woman on stage, who provded us with a lot of entertainment. Once C man was off the stage, we decided we should congratulate him, which for some reason meant everyone buying at least one bottle and then stumbling over to SOHO where A-ron decided to go missing and come home with 5 dudes numbers on his phone... :P

Song: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W-nDDeo8kpo

Drink:Bollinger

Type: 60's Extremely smart

££$$: ££££/£££££

Best memory: Relaxing while Collin strummed his guitar (the ghetto hot chick on stage wearing latex)

Worst memory: Aaron dissapearing at 3am and after an hour of searching for him the club closing

Ministry of Sound London - January 2009

2009-02-13T00:01:00.001-08:00

Ok, so I have to write this now as memory of this night is summed up by this photo taken on my phone, and that is about it. except caspar telling me that 2 anorexic chinese ladies were stalking us in the infamous MoS (which I will still say I have never been to)....

This began as a standard IBM drinks in the Mulberry Southbank and after landing up in the roadhouse and dirty martinis in Covent Garden, the devil in me must have came out and dragged the Casperoni to Ministry.... I think this place could have potential, especially with their new night line up taking over the egg and other late nighters which have fallen such as the Cross and the End

Song: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TxiI5qqYJI0

Drink:Jaeger Bombs

Type: Late night electric heavy

££$$: ££.5/£££££

Best memory: The slight remembrance of the dance floor

Worst memory: waiting in a Bruce style T-shirt in -3 weather with no sign of my Jumper.

Chloe's, the Egg, Union, Area London - February 2009

2009-02-12T14:33:00.001-08:00

Razz Ma Tazz Barcelona, Spain - January 2009

2009-02-12T14:32:00.000-08:00

Dust Farringdon, London - January 2009

2009-02-12T14:31:00.000-08:00

Chloe's Kensington, London - January 2009

2009-02-12T14:30:00.000-08:00

Flashbacks Plettenberg bay, South Africa - January 2009

2009-02-12T14:29:00.002-08:00

Vendome Piccadilly London - December 2008

2009-02-12T14:29:00.001-08:00

Po Na Na Wimbledon, London - December 2008

2009-02-12T14:28:00.001-08:00

Bedroom Bar Old Street, London - November 2008

2009-02-12T14:27:00.001-08:00

Bedroom is quite a funky little joint, on my first visit they had electro jazz with live trumpeters, which was quite awesome... the place gets its name from the single double bed found deep in the second room, but it's really just a standard little club, safe for all and pretty lively....

Song: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JXE3GtVOiZ4

Drink:Bottles and Bottles of Vodka

Type: twin room electric club with live acts like trumpets

££$$: ££/£££££

Best memory:eating a pretzel the size of my head

Worst memory: realising quite how old all the females were

This pic is actually taken in the bavarian beer house near old street station, awesome place for pre drinks, as they come in huge steins and you get sub £10 meals such as water sausage lol

The Fezz Club Putney, London - November 2008

2009-02-12T14:26:00.000-08:00

Karlsruhe, Germany - November 2008

2009-02-12T14:23:00.001-08:00

Chateau 6 Fulham London - October 2008

2009-02-12T14:22:00.001-08:00

Matter London - October 2008

2009-02-12T14:20:00.000-08:00

Song: Can't remember

Drink:vodka shots

Type: Londons largest electric club in the O2

££$$: £££/£££££

Best memory:dancing on a vibrating floor

Worst memory: large amounts of dollar spent on 30 min taxis there and back

Oceana Swansea Wales - September 2008

2009-02-12T14:19:00.000-08:00

Prime and Heaven, Kiev, Ukraine - September 2008

2009-02-12T14:18:00.000-08:00

Song: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JXE3GtVOiZ4

Drink:Bottles and Bottles of Vodka

Type: Large electric clubs with stage acts and dancers

££$$: ££/£££££

Best memory:sitting back with a kalian and a vodka watching the legs

Worst memory: simple..cheap vodka expensive hangover

Get Loaded in the Park, Clapham Common London - August 2008

2009-02-12T14:15:00.000-08:00

Song: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bIEOZCcaXzE

Drink:Magners mini bottles

Type: London artists day festival

££$$: ££/£££££

Best memory:Rocking out to MGMT

Worst memory: trekking the streets of London looking for a club on a sunday night

94 East Shoreditch London - August 2008

2009-02-12T14:13:00.000-08:00

Song:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rXxLbLvCRrk&feature=channel_page

Drink: have no recollection

Type: dirty drug infused sweaty hole

££$$: ££££/£££££

Best memory: Kev asking me whether he should hook up with a little lady he knew he shouldn't get it on with

Worst memory: attempting to get home with zero dollar

Papagayo St.Tropez - July 2008

2009-02-12T14:11:00.002-08:00

A very chilled night, leaving the yacht at about 10pm and heading to St.Tropez main port, running through the bars which were mostly dead, and then finally landing up in Papagayo's for a late night sesh... The picture originates here as this is our pre drinking in the sun, as no one brought a camera into the club.

Song: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pKu2QaytmrM

Drink:Free drink with entry G&T

Type: Pretty young electronic commercial

££$$: ££££/£££££

Best memory: Pre drinks on the Yacht in the jacuzzi in the sun

Worst memory: Being instructed the mini boat was leaving for home and we had to be on it

Monaco - August 2008

2009-02-12T14:11:00.001-08:00

Hed Kandi Bournemouth UK - July 2008

2009-02-12T14:05:00.000-08:00

Mamilanji London - June 2008

2009-02-12T14:04:00.000-08:00

EGG London - June 2008

2009-02-12T14:01:00.000-08:00

So if you are actually reading this you may have noticed the change from being uber anonymous to open open open. This came about because I thought writing to the masses (being no one) was pretty dull, and the fact that I am taking my first weekend off, in 7 months... and I really need something to keep me busy, other than Friday the 13th Fright night in Wimbledon tonight... to think a night of possible madness and I am going to be chilling in a tracksuit smoking a shisha and being as antisocial as possible..

So what I have decided to do is simply write about anything I want to :P starting with the next 20 or so posts which are just on a few nights I have been on, the reason for my internal organs being so sore its hard to sleep and my face falling off my head.....May as well start in mid 2008 with the EGG which is one of my favourites... 3 dance floors, ghetto, house, electric and a garden the size of most clubs with a live DJ, accompanied by breakfast and mid next day closing hours... walking out of this place is like leaving a fairytale and realising bedtimes were created for good reason....

This night began at a teachers house party which simply meant lots of orders to drink and the classically youngster game of Roxanne, Men drinking to every Roxanne and the ladies to some other word, in the old school Police track...

Song: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PysYTEJiso8

Drink: Jaeger bomb

Type: Dirty electric with style

££$$: ££/£££££

Best memory: House floor at 4am when the love began

Worst memory: Running to Macdonalds at 7 in the morning thinking I was going to die

The egg is one of these places where all people, Ghetto, Raa, Dull, Mad, Gay, Hippy…. seem to turn up to at some stage of the night between opening at 10pm and closing at 12pm the next morning, after what is knows as the egg breakfast (actual breakfast served)….

This place is just awesome, as long as you are in the right mood and you are not looking for anything to smart… It consists of 4 areas, Top floor (each the size of a small club) is more commercial house, live deejays but by commercial it is all remixed to supernova quantities.. second floor is deeper and darker but still very electric again with a live deejay, bottom floor starts as the most ghetto place in the world, like dizzy rascal without showering for weeks, however calms down and goes a bit more electric as the night goes on, this floor has live gigs and twister on the odd night. Then to top it off there is a huge astro-turf garden, again with a live Deejay (that is 4 acts at any time on the premises).

There are bars everywhere and if you are that kind of person there are chemists everywhere to… Never had trouble with scary people (even though there seem to be many of them and I am the type of person to provoke) and always land up leaving in the daylight.

I am writing this a few months after this excursion and in that time the club has become very quite, due to multiple things such as Ministry of Sound getting busier and supposed increase in police presence…

I like it, though it is definitely not for everyone!!!

Barca ~ the aftermath.

2009-01-25T08:30:00.001-08:00

<-- The view from the central Gaudi house roof...

Good day, so I am basically writing this with the last of my energy, had to get up at 8 after getting home at 6... Having met some seriously chilled Spanish folk and having consumed my body weight of red wine and very random shots!!! ~~ I will finish this off once I have slept!!!!

I arrived at 9pm on Friday and we still had time to go for a propper meal full of red spanish wine, vino tinto, way to much vino and grappa, which the waiter tried to convince me that it was Spanish... lol... following that we did Razz Mataz, which is one of the biggest clubs I have been to, full of friendly people and very conmmercial house...

Following this we checked out the streets and some of the sights including Sagrada Familia and a Gaudi house... all easily accessed on pretty impressive subways.. I think as I was still drunk until about 2 when I over purchased ingredients for seriously unhealthy sandwiches...

Following this we hit the beach front and chilled with more red wine and huge amounts of ham and olives, and then onto another 6 bars including a pretty cool dutch bar called Foc and then onto numerous spanish bars which landed up with us riding a bicycle we found on the floor and having shots bought for us because we were so obviously tourists..

I beleive everyone should experience barcelona at least once in their lives, I have been to Seville, Spain before and the difference is huge. Barcelona definately makes it into my top 5 cities of the world, and I do not think it will ever move from there..

Song of the trip.... awesome

Flight of the Conchords -Foux Da Fa Fa

Fuc* you boss man I am going to Barcelona

2009-01-23T03:31:00.000-08:00

Heading to Barcelona in 3 hours, which I have been told is amazing, I have picked the worst time in the year to go, weather wise, however there are very few places that are worse in winter than our lovely England... I shall report back on this once it is over, for now is the time to do the activities one does before an adventure of alcohol, people, culture and... I will most likely forget the rest as recently I am loosing my memory after about 8 pints of beer or a couple bottles of wine...

I suppose this is a good time to divulge the fact that I think I may be an alcoholic... more to come on this topic I am sure..

~the Cause~

2009-01-23T02:27:00.000-08:00

The view over Victoria from my bedroom.

This came about because my sister told me that I should stop telling the world about my every move on facebook statuses.... point taken...

So what are blogs about, the only ones I have ever read are about technology and geeky stuff, which I love, but do not really entertain the average joe (lame saying I know)... So I will just make this up as I go along... I have recently come to the conclusion that my english skills and diction have been destroyed by my need to speed life up, why spend the time writing 'you' when you can write 'u', however this may work in life it does not work in business life, and many a time have I had one of my bosses reply to emails in my term...WTF....but in their wording, I do not quite understand your english....So this will now be my excuse to practice these long lost skills and just write down all my thoughts and activities, most likely for myself, but if you have landed up reading this.. good luck and profuse amounts of apologies.....

I began this post with...

"omg skins, 24 and lost r back !"

However as I explained in the post above I shall rewrite this as

" oh my god "kins, 24 and Lost are back!"....

I have been thinking about this for a while, and have decided that I will keep this blog as anonymous as possible, this will allow me to include such things taht would normally be secretive, such as engaged ladies being naughty and silly stuff people do, without hurting any of my friends/colleagues and acuantences (first big word?).. I may use pseudo names if I am attempting to explain as story, such as Jack Daniels or Hally Berry ...